The Truth About Confidence, Competence, and Calm

When I created The Social Work Collective Academy, it was built around three key values: confidence, competence, and calm. These aren’t just nice buzzwords. They're the cornerstones of surviving—and thriving—in your first year of social work.

And here’s the truth: these three values are deeply interconnected. You can’t truly have one without the others. After years of delivering training and talking with students and newly qualified social workers, I want to share what I’ve learned.

1. The Truth About Confidence

If you feel like you’re struggling with confidence, I recommend listening to Lets stop the Narrative of Social Work podcast episode—but let’s go further.

Confidence is gendered. Often, we unconsciously equate confidence with loudness, charisma, or dominance—traits traditionally associated with masculinity. You might picture someone who walks into a room with bold body language, full of opinions and always in control.

But that isn’t the only form of confidence—and in social work, it’s often not the most effective one.

Think of how media portrays confidence in women. Remember Sandy in Grease? (Millennials, I know you do.) She starts off soft-spoken and "nice," only becoming “confident” after a full physical transformation—tight leather, red lips, cigarette in hand. (Google: search 'the male gaze')

This narrative tells us that confidence comes from external change. But that’s a myth.

True confidence in social work isn’t about a glow-up. It’s not about becoming a different person. It’s about being grounded, self-assured in who you are, and able to speak, act, or listen from a place of clarity—even if your voice shakes.

So ask yourself: What do I really mean when I say I want to feel confident? Is it actually confidence you’re chasing—or a polished version of yourself that someone else told you was the goal?

2. The Truth About Competence

Let’s be clear: confidence without competence will only get you so far.

You can write affirmations, adjust your posture, and practice positive mindset shifts (and I do all those things too). But none of that replaces knowing what you’re doing.

In social work, you need practical skills and procedural knowledge. You need to know how to chair a meeting, what questions to ask in a strategy discussion, or how to prepare for a home visit. That kind of competence comes from experience—but it also comes from learning environments that break it all down step by step.

That’s what the Academy is designed for. It’s not about turning you into a robot with scripts—it’s about offering a safety net. So when you’re faced with uncertainty, you have something solid to fall back on. A downloadable guide. An example case note. A training that shows you exactly what to expect.

This job is complex. You’re never going to know everything—but you do need to know some things. And building that competence is the surest route to real, grounded confidence.

3. The Truth About Calm

Let’s end with calm. Because this value gets misunderstood a lot.

Calm is not the same as quiet. It doesn’t mean you stay silent, avoid conflict, or let people walk over you. Calm is not passivity.

Calm is regulation.

It’s the ability to pause before you react. To feel grounded when everything around you feels chaotic. And to co-regulate with the people you work with, whether that's children, families, or your team.

We talk about this in my training a lot—and if you’ve attended a session, you’ll know we always include something mindful. That’s not just because it feels good. There’s neuroscience behind it. When you’re calm, your prefrontal cortex can actually function. You make better decisions, build better relationships, and model emotional safety for others.

What calm looks like varies. Maybe for you it’s breathwork. Or maybe it’s shaking out your body in the loo before a tough phone call. Maybe it’s exercising before work or pausing for a moment of stillness before responding to an email.

Whatever it looks like for you, remember this: calm doesn’t mean small. Calm is powerful.

Want to Build All Three?

If this resonated, that’s exactly what the Social Work Collective Academy is here to support you with.

• Confidence in your decisions and voice

• Competence through skills-based, practical training

• Calm as a foundation for everything else

You don’t need to show up to live sessions.

Everything is prerecorded so you can access it on your terms.

Whether you’ve got 10 minutes or an hour, you’ll find what you need—risk assessments, theory breakdowns, scripts, guides, example case notes, and more.

Join for £19.99/month – cancel any time. You’ll get a unique login, instant access to the full learning hub, and the support you need for a calm, confident, and competent year.

👉 Join the Academy here👉 Got questions? Check the FAQs

You’ve worked hard to get here. Let’s make sure your first year in social work sets the foundation for a career you love.