Asking Better Questions: The Skill That Changes Everything

Vicki Shevlin
6 days ago
2 min read

A few weeks ago, I was delivering training and, as I often do, I asked participants to write any questions down on a piece of paper.I do this because I know not everyone wants to raise their hand — some people need a quieter way to be heard.

When I collected the scraps of paper, I found some really insightful questions… and one that asked if I was watching a certain programme on TV.

Now, I love reality TV. And I’m a huge advocate for exploring how popular culture reflects the questions we should be asking as a society. But this particular question felt a little sarcastic — a curveball thrown in to see how I’d react.

I made the gentle assumption that the person who wrote it was having a tough day. Maybe they felt pressured to write something. Maybe they wanted to challenge me.Either way, I left it until last.

When we reached it, I read the question out loud and said:

“The quality of an answer depends on the quality of the question.”

My answer to “Are you watching [that programme]?” was simple: no.

If they’d asked me what I enjoy watching, they’d have learned something about me. If they’d asked why I enjoy certain shows, they might have opened up a more interesting conversation. But a closed question only invites a closed answer.

Asking better questions

Asking questions is a skill. A tough one to build under pressure.

But when you start small, you can have conversations that connect.You can ask questions that invite new ideas — or ones that interrupt someone’s automatic thoughts and make them pause in reflection.

And that pause? That silence? It isn’t a negative response. It’s thinking time. It’s the sound of growth.

Why I created The Child and Family Assessment Guide

I wrote The Child & Family Assessment Guide because I value questions.

Each area of assessment is supported with real examples that go beyond “yes”, “no”, or “maybe” — questions that invite reflection, stories, and insight.

You’ll find prompts, reminders, and reflective questions you can use during home visits or when writing up.No more staring at a blank screen or leaving a visit feeling like you only skimmed the surface.

Good questions lead to better understanding — and better outcomes for children and families.

End of Year Offer

My online shop closes on 21st December, and I’d love to make sure you have these tools before then.

You can use code GUIDE10 for 10% off The Child & Family Assessment Guide,or save 15% when you buy both guides (The Child & Family Assessment Guide and The Home Visit Guide).